Nick's London Trip - February 2008

That's the way I found out what to do while I was in London, and I had the time of my life.

Starting my journey from SFO, I met a woman named Beverly, who has traveled the world, and was very gracious. 3 glasses of wine later, we had a great conversation and we wound up sitting next to each other on the airplane. I think I reminded her of her son, who was 20 years old and following in mom's footsteps; he loved world travel as well. She gave me plenty of good information to help me on my trip, including the best way to get pounds at a good exchange rate — just use a local ATM.

I arrived on a Sunday, after flying through the night. From the airport, I took the Underground, the Picadilly line. I owe Duncan a beer for this tip.

I notice a lot of construction in the streets. I find out that there is a huge project underway to replace all of London's sewer system. Apparently brick isn't the best material for underground pipeways.

It was fun to walk around in Covent Garden by myself, wandering about bumping into people that were walking the right way. I ate at Maxwhells, and order a shot of Jamisons whiskey, neat. The bartender asks me if I want 'American sized' or 'English sized'. Hmm. I've never heard that one before.

"Which is bigger?" I ask.
"American," he replies, with a smile.

Those that know me know how I answered. When I left, a conversation was spawned by leaving a tip that was large by English standards. 10% is "generous" in England, where 15-25% seems to be expected nowadays in the United States, at least in California. I commit myself to leaving 'American' sized tips for the rest of the trip.

Walking around Covent Garden, I find a place that is holding a live comedy show. 5 beers later, the show was quite funny. I sat next to a nice couple that was my age, and they would help me to understand some of the jokes that needed local knowledge.

Making fun of Americans is easy to do, and it was good to see why the rest of the world thinks we suck. In one sentence, the reputation of America is that we are good people, but we are fat, and horrible at Politics. Special thanks to McDonalds and George W. Bush, you enabled the comics to fill my first night in London with joy and laughter.

I get back to my room at 1am, but I'm still not tired. I try to watch TV, and that puts me to sleep until 3, but then I wake up (because it's 7pm california time). I go to work at 5am. Tip: I found that going to sleep in a cold room is easier.

Monday

Lunch at Byte, the Yahoo! cafeteria. It was recently renovated on the previous week, so I gave it a try. Not horrible for a cafeteria, but with so much of London to explore, it felt awful to squander the opportunity. I vow to never again to eat inside Byte. I do notice that they have Starbucks though, which has to be better than the new coffee machines that are installed downstairs. I'll have to ask around for a good place to get coffee.

Went to the Pub that night for a "real quick one". I learn later that this is English for "I'll have 4". We go to the Spice of Life, a staple for the Yahoo! London Geo team. The service is fast, the pours are good, and it's close to the office. Even for a Monday, I manage to find a few people to join, but I can tell that Monday isn't the normal night for this. At about 10pm, it's down to 3, and I try my famous line for the first time.

You've left London for 10 years...

"You've left London for 10 years, and you come back for one night. Where would you go for anti-hangover food right now?"

My trusty tour guides have made a decision and seem confident. I stumble there, enjoying the scenery along the way. We get there and have a seat. I look around, and think to myself that it seems like a nice place. Then I start looking at the menu. It's full of Hamburgers. Huh?

"Hamburgers?! Hamburgers!? I traveled halfway across the world and you guys took me to a burger joint?!". What's wrong with these people?

I announce to my tour guides that they are fired. Upon hearing this news, Andrew leans forward on the table laughing hysterically, and it falls apart. The underside of the table snapped. Salt & Pepper shakers, menus, and sugar packets go flying. After the laughter wears off, thoughts start racing through my mind.

"Nick. You're drunk."
"You just broke a table in a restaurant."
"What is the restaurant owner going to do? Kick us out? Make us pay for it?"
"Get yourself together so you can deal with this situation."

The manager was surprisingly understanding, and graciously moved us to another table. Crisis averted.

I found it odd that ketchup was not served with the french fries - my first example of how overly sugary sauces are not widely used in England as they are in America. The containers the ketchup came in were neat. →

We have a beer called Budweiser Budvar, which I'm told is where Budweiser descended from. It was decent, and certainly 100x better than American Budweiser. Yet another thing that America has ruined with mass production and cost savings. I share a story that most American beers are bad because they are brewed from corn instead of malt, because corn is cheaper. It was interesting to learn that Budweiser didn't always suck.

Anyway, the hamburgers were excellent, and they looked amazing. I learn that Louisa won't eat anything that doesn't look good. Most importantly, they were just the right food for the mood. Given this, and the everlasting broken table story, the Budweiser lesson, I promptly re-hired my trusty tour guides. I owe Andrew and Louisa a breakfast burrito in Southern California.

I get back to my hotel, the Radisson Edwardian Mountbatten, and snap some pictures of it. Very nice! It's location is great as well, less than 2 blocks from the Yahoo! London office.

Some noticeable things about the room.

• Light switches are smaller, and they go the opposite way. There is also a master switch for the whole room, which I came to appreciate later, but was odd at first. Also notice the "Please Clean Room"/"Do Not Disturb" switch. This illuminates a light outside the door to let the maids know what's up.
• The toilet tank is in built into the wall, instead of being exposed. You operate it by pulling a lever on the wall. Makes the room look cleaner. There is an access panel for maintenance.
• The shower curtain is a piece of hinged glass. I'm not sure I like this, because it only covers it halfway, which makes showers quite cold.
• Heated towel rack. Nice! It has hot water flowing through it. But I have a better idea! It's always on with this design, but if you routed the hot water for the shower through it, then it would only heat up when you were taking a shower, which is perfect. Idea noted for our dream house. +5 experience points.

Tuesday

Mild Hangover. Nothing I'm not used to though. My exhaustion has more to do with the jet lag than the alcohol. Hours of sleep since in London - 6. That's fine with me. I'm known for saying "Sleep is optional", now is the time to relish and enjoy everything around me.

My hotel location is amazing. It is on an intersection known as the Seven Dials, because it's where 7 streets come together in one spot. This is also important to remember later when I need to ask directions to get home. Check. I'm amazed at how many theaters there are. I find out later that Shaftesbury Avenue and West London are famous for theater.

Had Lunch with Jean-Marc at Korean place. Like San Francisco, London has a Chinatown. We walk through and get some good pictures. Had some mediocre sushi, but find out Jean-Marc is an interesting guy. +20 experience points.

I must find this tequila bar and prove or disprove the "Gold Tequila Myth".

Jean-Marc also mentions a tequila bar in London. He says that "Gold" tequila is the best. I disagree, saying that Gold is the bottom grade, because they add Carmel and sometimes Brandy to Blanco to give it it's gold color, imitating the top grade, Anejo. I've told a few people at this point that I edit the Wikipedia page on Tequila, so this potential cultural difference is something that I am obligated to explore. I am a man with a mission. Tequila drinkers every where are counting on me: I must find this tequila bar and prove or disprove the "Gold Tequila Myth".

After work, I'm sure we started at a pub. Wound up by myself early, and walked around aimlessly. Wound up in Leicester — pronounced Lester — Square. Get very lost, but that's ok, it was fun. I found some casinos. Didn't gamble though, requires a membership, and there was so much to see, I wasn't about to be cooped up in a casino. This was the best night of pictures.

Wednesday

When I first announced my trip to the Yahoo! London group, I told them I wanted "authentic English food". Today was the day. I went to lunch with big group at an "authentic English" restaurant. Carie organized it for me. The oddest part of the experience was the mashed peas — which reminded me of baby food. I asked for authentic though, so I poked at it and ate as much as I could.

On the way back, we ran into a group of people dressed up promoting something. I'm told the half-naked girls were from a play called Chicago, which is near my hotel. As Matt pointed out, they looked cold.

After lunch, Gavin showed me to Monmouth Coffee. This is the best coffee I had all trip. They ship all over the world. Bonus: it's right across the street from my hotel. I wind up making several more visits throughout my stay.

The penultimate attribute of Monmouth Coffee? They only have one size. None of that nonsensical Grande-Venti-Tall bullsh$t. Just great coffee, and they tell you how big you want it. Excellent. Great pastries and quiche too.

For dinner, my boss insisted that "traditional English food" included Indian Food. We went to dinner at a place that had a very authentic Indian look, and nice people. I let it be known that I like spicy food, so we ordered the Madras. It was the perfect amount of spicy for me. Good beer, and nice chocolate afterwards. Service level was very high and personal. Would go back.

My boss dropped me back off at the hotel, but it was only about 10pm, so I decided to go back out. Got VERY lost, and it took me about 3 hours to find my way back to the hotel. At 1am, I walk by the hotel bar, and it looks like there are a lot of people there. I decide to step in and see how things are. This turned out to be a great idea.

As soon as I walk up, Andrew notices me and introduces himself, and offers me a shot. I look down at the bar, and he has 19 shots of Sambuca lined up. I look around at the rest of the group. They are having a great time, and are way ahead of me. If I'm going to have fun with them, I need to catch up.

"Give me 2!" I yell loud enough for everyone to hear.

"You are sooo Fab!"

Andrew introduces his group as a local recruitment company staying the night for training the next day. Recruiters know how to party. They find out I work at Yahoo!, and three beautiful girls crowd around me, enamored by my accent. They stand around me, staring intently, waiting for me to say something with my American accent so they can giggle and yell "You are sooo Fab!".

I make a name for myself by ordering Long Island Ice Teas, a drink that doesn't mess around. We played drinking games in the Hotel Lobby until about 4am, until we are kicked out. We decide to go for some food. Hangover prevention time. We find the local grease joint, eat horrible food. I play the sober guy, keeping people from getting run over, and then stopping us from a fight that ensued over a bum and some tap water. Yes Andrew, I get it, it was just a bare necessity of life. Andrew was passionate, but unfortunately drunk enough that he didn't remember how many times he told me.

One girl in particular, Sara, was from Grenada and was beautiful in a very exotic way. She also seemed incredibly nice and genuine. She made it a point to tell me how amazing I was, and how she felt something for me. Of course I was a good boy.

At this point in the story I'd like to pretend that the enamoration was about my dashing good looks and my charming personality. Alas, it probably had more to do with the the Long Island Ice Teas, B-52s, Sambuca, and the Slippery Nipples...

However, I prefer to remember the former.

Best drinking game of the night - Tip it. I may not get the rules perfect. If you know them to be different, let me know. Two groups of people sit on opposite sides of the table. One group has a coin, and they shuffle around the coin between everyone's hands. The other group then has to guess which had the coin is in. They can either do process of elimination and call "Lose it!", and point to a person's hand that does not have the coin. If they are wrong, they lose. Instead of process of elimination, a team call also call "Tip it!", in which they try to guess the person that has the coin outright. I never found the advantage in doing this over process of elimination.

When a team wins by guessing the coin, the other team takes a turn with guessing. I'd improve this game by introducing some drinking related penalties for bad guesses.

The game was good because it involved eye contact, bluffing, and focus. This is a definitely a game to bring back home and spread around.

Bed at 6am. +35 experience points.

Thursday

Up at 9am. Feeling a little rough. Total time slept in London - 9 hours. Still charging ahead tough! For lunch, sushi with Eugene, which was an accident, it was supposed to be Thai Food. -1 Eugene.

Started the night at a pub again. Went to a couple of different pubs, walked around with Louisa and met up with a couple of her friends. Went to the Cross Keys, and it was a great place. A bit of an odd smell though.

I'm told the story behind the Cross Keys is that David Beckham is known to frequent this bar. At the back, there is a framed set of letters and a picture where he wrote a story of some sort. I'll need to back there sober to remember the details.

I was introduced to a guy named Michael, and had the most intelligent conversation I've ever had — in a bar. We wound up talking about Stephen Hawking and String Theory and the 10 dimensions. I overwhelmed him a bit at one point.

"I want to talk to you about this, but I'm too drunk to talk.", he says. I laugh, and we stumble back inside together for another drink.

Louisa's friend and his brother showed us to a really good Asian restaurant for 4th meal, and then back home for a nightcap at the bar, and I'm ready to go for Friday. +10 experience points.

Friday

Bad news at work today. Microsoft makes an unsolicited offer to buy Yahoo!. Ug. This damn near ruins my day. I can't work for Microsoft.

Great news, though, I've been asked to stay until Wednesday. Tonight there are some plans. Everyone is able to come out because it's Friday, and Carie has organized us. What would we do without her?

Start off at the Spice of Live for one drink (remember, in English this is 4). We then start walking down towards the River Thames (pronounced Tames). Louisa, Eugene, Eugene's friend, and I get lost, and wound up by Cleopatra's Needle. Big Ben, The London Eye, and other touristy sites were pointed out. I'm glad we went the wrong way.

Wound up on a boat that is docked permanently on the river and has been converted to a bar. So you get to sit on a boat and look at the river, drinking and talking. What a great time! The second picture here is the view from out the boat. After the boat, we went back to land and went to the Sherlock Holmes, a pub where Sir Aurthur Conan Doyle wrote the famous novels. Even I can appreciate a museum — when it's combined with a pub. ;-)

Sherlock Holmes has a great setting, nice people, and it's a good time. I'll definitely be back.

"They just left you here by yourself?!"

And now comes the most disturbing part of the trip. It's down to a small group. Still in the Sherlock, I walk over to another part of the bar and start talking to 3 Irish guys about ... whatever. I come back, and find that I am all alone. Everyone's gone. I've been ditched. Surely they wouldn't have just left me here all by myself on Friday night. It was still early?! These guys were supposed to take care of me. Surely they are still here.

I look all over the bar again to make sure. No one to be found.

I walk up the street to the next bar. Nope. No one there.

I walk over to the Players Club, and convince the door man to let me in without a cover charge, because I'm looking for my friends — that ditched me.

I walk back to the Sherlock. They are closing down. I ask the waitress if anyone was looking for me. She says no, and feels sorry for me.
"They just left you here by yourself?!".
"Yeah, WTF!?" I exclaim.

I walk home slightly pissed, and try to call a few people from the hotel room. Nothing. I can't believe these guys!

I find out later it was a simple mistake. Quite simply, everyone decided separately that they were too drunk to be there, and left. They've since made their reparations and have been forgiven.

+20 experience points for Sherlock Holmes, the sight seeing, and the boat. -5 happiness points for being ditched. Night cap in the hotel bar. Tomorrow will be a big day.

Saturday

The guys from the recruitment group on Wednesday tell me all about Hamley's when I they find out I have 4 kids. The urge me to go. It's a great toy store, and I decide to make this a destination for the day. I walk down Shaftsbury Avenue, a famous street for theater. Note Les_Misérables on the right. I bought my mom and my wife tickets to see this on May 15th, which will make them very happy. Note that it also starts solidifying the plans for my return trip.

I pass beautiful buildings and plenty of history. I intersect Regent Street and Picadilly Circus, a very popular section of London. If you've ever received a post card from London, good chance that it's got a picture of Picadilly Circus.

Did some random shopping on the way to Hamley's. Found gifts for family and friends.

Hamley's was a highlight of the trip. I thought it was great when I saw the first floor and the basement, then I realized there wer 6 floors of toys. Live demonstrations. Toys that I've never seen in the US, and toys for big kids too. This is definitely the best toy store I've ever been too. I spent 3 hours there, and more money than I should have. Walked around staring aimlessly at all the "gadgets". I'm so glad I made it here, and I'll definitely be back.

Walking back to my hotel with heavy bags full of loot for back home, I stop as a group of portrait artists are working their magic near Picadilly Circus. I stand just long enough to admire, and I'm approached by one of the artists. He wants 40 pounds ($80) for one, and I hesitate, but then realize that this would be a great gift for my wife Chara. I happily comply and take a seat. I find it difficult to sit still for 30 minutes, but it's great to watch the look on everyone's face as they pass by. Here's the end result. →

I get closer to my hotel, and I was walking around in front of a theater where they were playing Spamalot - this looks fun by the way, I'll have to do that when I come back. I think that I will appreciate British Humor more now. The theater has signs that say things like "Funnier than the Black Plague", and "Running since 1035". I might do this when I come back in May.

I then get to experience Hare Krishna's. I was walking in front of a restaurant and a big group of them walk by, with radio playing, and everyone chanting and dancing.

Regardless of the activity, when someone is passionate about something, I find it attractive, like a mosquito to a bug zapper. I followed them for a few blocks, and asked one of them what it was all about. +10 experience points.

Best street tacos I've ever had; gold tequila myth debunked.

I go back to the hotel and drop off my bags. I decide that tonight is a good night for me to go to the tequila bar that people have told me about, because no one else seems to appreciate tequila like I do. I look up directions to La Perla and start walking. I get the waitress, a very nice French girl, to show me around at the various tequilas. Their selection is far from the best I've seen, but decent enough to assure me that they know what they are doing.

They are short staffed, but I manage to sneak in conversations here and there. I mention to the manager that they are missing El Tesoro and El Cielo (my current two favorite brands). He shares my love of El Tesoro, and laments that he is unable to get it imported into London. He has met with the owners of El Tesoro to try to persuade them. He may be the only person I've ever met that knows more about tequila than me.

I have a couple of shots and a margarita that was made with extreme car by a Polish girl behind the bar. When it came time to decide what to eat — it was time to pull out my famous line.

"Let's pretend you've left London for 10 years, and you come back here for one — and only one — meal, what would you order?"
The waitress is intrigued, and scours the menu. She points me excitedly to the Street Tacos, and tells me to get one each of chicken, steak, and shrimp. Best street tacos I've ever had.

Most importantly, I was able to debunk the Gold Tequila Myth. Gold Tequila is the same in London as the rest of the world.

La Perla: +25 experience points.

Rescuing two Turkish girls from the pub

With a hearty tequila buzz, pub hopping became even more enjoyable. At the 3rd, 4th, or 5th pub, I walked around inside, and got a "Please save me!" look from one of the girls, and a similar look from her friend.

I look over, and they hare having what looks to be a painful conversation with two well dressed business men. Aha. Poor girls. Seeing two damsels in distress, I walk up to the bar near by and order a drink. She walks up next to me. I offer to buy her a drink, she turns down the drink but definitely wants to talk.

I ask her why it's not going so well and she rolls her eyes.
"These guys think it's funny to try to convince my friend she's American."
I look over at her friend, the supposed American, and she is short. VERY short. Shorter than Jennifer Trask short. Probably 4'9" 3/4.

I walk over to her and interrupt the conversation, hold my hand about two inches over her head, and say, "There is no way you are American, because all American girls are at least this tall!".

There is a laugh, and then she quips back, "Yeah, and they are all this fat!", holding her hands wide. Ouch!

Tall-Turkish-girl says they are leaving, and I tell her I'm by myself and that she should help a poor American geek have a good time. 5 minutes later, after spending 10 seconds to convince her friend that I am a good guy, we are off. On our way out, the two other business men asked if they were invited. The two girls politely tell them "No, they aren't."

When I realized that I had swooped in on the two guys who were hoping to get laid, I felt bad for them for about 2 minutes. Then I decided it was a good time to find out these girls' names. Suzanne and Behraq.

"Where are we going?" I ask.
"We don't really know." Great, I think to myself. I'm not wondering around London all night aimlessly. Time to take charge.

If you left London for 10 years, where would you go tonight?

"If you left London for 10 years, where would you guys go tonight?"

This sets them on the proper course of action. They call the friends that they were going to meet, and they change the plans to go to the Fuel Bar.

It's a great place, even by San Diego night-club standards. Great music. Great bartenders. Incredible inside; low ceilings, and lots of private rooms. I was called Bill Gates by the bartender, and that got a good laugh. Given the recent Microsoft-Yahoo buyout talks, I didn't think it was as funny.

On our way home, we stopped by Subway for anti-hangover food. I resisted the idea of eating anything American, but was too interested in the conversations around me. I'm proud to say that this is the only American food I have had during my stay. I walk them back to where they are staying, and then take a bicycle ride home. I owe Suzanne and Behraq a night out in San Francisco.

Home at 4am, very drunk. Very full day. +100 experience points.

Sunday

I wake up at noon, and I'm in terrible shape. I'm reminded of a scene from Leaving Las Vegas. Several days of drinking have finally caught up to me, and my body downright insists that I take a break. 4 hours of writhing in the bed. I'm not normally one to sleep all day. I hate it, because I feel like I am wasting away. But my body simply won't let me get up.

At 4pm, I start to feel better and get up to start getting ready for Sunday night. My first mission is to go to get something to make me feel better. I find a Homeopathic store and tell them of my condition. I get a liver tonic and a wellness formula. 2 hours later, I'm ready to go again.

I walk back down by Picadilly circus, and find another comedy show. I buy tickets, but it doesn't start for another 2 hours. Pub time. I've grown a fondness for Guiness, after having 40 of them in the previous 7 days. I find a very interesting, albeit touristy, place called Waxy O'Connor's. It's amazing inside, with 4 different levels and at least 10 different seating areas. It's decorated real neat, with a tree in the middle. Will definitely be back to this place in May.

After Waxy O'Connor's, I wound up in another random pub, and had a great conversation with an English guy about politics, Irish vs English, Polish, and the evils of George W. Bush. +5 experience points.

Who are you, Harry Potter?

The comedy show starts off with a warning, because there is a 13 year old in the front row. Who brings a 13 year old to a comedy show?! They ask if they need to keep it "family friendly", but the parents give the go ahead. Later there would be a Turrets scene. +20 experience points for the kid.

At one point, they yell out for a job, and I suggest a "Padded Headboard Tester". The stage master quips back - "Who are you, Harry Potter?". The ensuing act was the best of the night. Met two Irish girls at comedy show, and we have a quick drink.

Back to the hotel room, need to take it easy. Try to go to sleep, but wake up at 12am. I turn on the TV, to find that the Superbowl was on. It sucked seeing it from the UK, because they didn't play the commercials, instead, they would cut away to awful English commentary on the superbowl. -5 points.

Monday

Very quiet night out, a few drinks at the Spice of Life, and then a nice dinner with a new friend. Most importantly, we plan tomorrow night. +25 experience points.

Tuesday

Pub crawl with a new rule — no more than one drink per pub. This is my way of insisting that we get to see a lot of different places. We get to go to several different pubs, each with their own story. I get to know Carie better, and find out about her upcoming birthday. It was quite a send-off for a wonderful week.